Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Teacher's Worst Nightmare

There's no denying that every teacher has one class they simple despise! This year it's a 5th grade class that I absolutely dread when they come to Art. They fight constantly, can not follow simple directions, and turn into incompetent little turds the minute they have an art supply in their hand. (They're a direct result of their classroom teacher's how do you honestly expect me to change their behaviors when I only see them once a week) Thank god I only have to teach them once a week!

Class was actually going well and the students hadn't completely turned into monsters even though they were painting. Imagine my classroom with 15 tables, a tablecloth on each table, bucket of water, paint pallets out. Now imagine 28 little minions. Now imagine the words "LOCKDOWN" coming over the loud speaker!! OMG...this was my teaching nightmare.

The chaos that ensued really truly did happen. All the kids started screaming and running and art supplies flew across my classroom. I yelled at them to hide under their tables and sit in silence. A moment of panic crossed my mind as I tried to think through all my emails as to whether this was just a lockdown drill and not a real lockdown. I grabbed my phone and texted another teacher asking if it was a real lockdown to which I was reassured that it was just a drill. Thank god that put my mind at ease and then I focused back on reality and what exactly was going on in my classroom.

The kids were still screaming under their tables "we're going to die!" and laughing. I see kids crawling from one table to another, paint brushes being thrown, hear farting sounds and more laughter. Then one little devil yells "everyone hide under your tablecloth". And I simply could not believe my eyes when I see hands reach from under their tables and yank their tablecloth off sending buckets of water flying and paint spilling every where. And then I mutated into a beast more horrible than they! In my loudest voice I yelled at them to shut up (and I never say that nor do I let them tell each other to shut up). I told them that this is a real lockdown...hoping that would scare them enough to shut their mouths and that the person trying to hurt us will come right to where all the noise is. Well they got quiet for about 10 seconds and then went right back to screaming. Those little rats didn't stop talking and laughing the entire 20 minute lockdown drill. Nothing I said or did made them stop. It was all I could do not to open my classroom door and sit every last one of them in the hallway and then shut my door and lock them outside...where the danger lurks.

I really wasn't surprised when my principal came and met with me because the cop searching the building reported my classroom as the loudest one in the building. I explained the horror that unfolded with the art supplies and the demon children that wouldn't shut up. Thankfully my principal knew exactly which class I had and understood that I did my best to follow lockdown procedures. Well this class might think what they pulled was hilarious but guess whose not making art for the rest of the year!! 7 weeks left and I will do my best to "teach them a lesson" about how their poor choices affect the rest of their school year.

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