A Teacher's Worst Nightmare

There's no denying that every teacher has one class they simple despise! This year it's a 5th grade class that I absolutely dread when they come to Art. They fight constantly, can not follow simple directions, and turn into incompetent little turds the minute they have an art supply in their hand. (They're a direct result of their classroom teacher's management...so how do you honestly expect me to change their behaviors when I only see them once a week) Thank god I only have to teach them once a week!

Class was actually going well and the students hadn't completely turned into monsters even though they were painting. Imagine my classroom with 15 tables, a tablecloth on each table, bucket of water, paint pallets out. Now imagine 28 little minions. Now imagine the words "LOCKDOWN" coming over the loud speaker!! OMG...this was my teaching nightmare.

The chaos that ensued really truly did happen. All the kids started screaming and running and art supplies flew across my classroom. I yelled at them to hide under their tables and sit in silence. A moment of panic crossed my mind as I tried to think through all my emails as to whether this was just a lockdown drill and not a real lockdown. I grabbed my phone and texted another teacher asking if it was a real lockdown to which I was reassured that it was just a drill. Thank god that put my mind at ease and then I focused back on reality and what exactly was going on in my classroom.

The kids were still screaming under their tables "we're going to die!" and laughing. I see kids crawling from one table to another, paint brushes being thrown, hear farting sounds and more laughter. Then one little devil yells "everyone hide under your tablecloth". And I simply could not believe my eyes when I see hands reach from under their tables and yank their tablecloth off sending buckets of water flying and paint spilling every where. And then I mutated into a beast more horrible than they! In my loudest voice I yelled at them to shut up (and I never say that nor do I let them tell each other to shut up). I told them that this is a real lockdown...hoping that would scare them enough to shut their mouths and that the person trying to hurt us will come right to where all the noise is. Well they got quiet for about 10 seconds and then went right back to screaming. Those little rats didn't stop talking and laughing the entire 20 minute lockdown drill. Nothing I said or did made them stop. It was all I could do not to open my classroom door and sit every last one of them in the hallway and then shut my door and lock them outside...where the danger lurks.

I really wasn't surprised when my principal came and met with me because the cop searching the building reported my classroom as the loudest one in the building. I explained the horror that unfolded with the art supplies and the demon children that wouldn't shut up. Thankfully my principal knew exactly which class I had and understood that I did my best to follow lockdown procedures. Well this class might think what they pulled was hilarious but guess whose not making art for the rest of the year!! 7 weeks left and I will do my best to "teach them a lesson" about how their poor choices affect the rest of their school year.

Best Story Ever

I have yet to meet another art teacher who can top my best student teaching story. I was assigned to a very sweet art teacher (I won't name names for her sake). I taught in the afternoons and before I came into work she called me and said not to come teach today. So I'm thinking of all the reasons why she wouldn't want me to come in...did I screw up my lesson, do the kids not like me, does she not like me...what could it be. To my complete shock she told me that I couldn't come into work because SHE BURNT DOWN THE ART ROOM that morning!!! Swear to god!

Apparently she was heating wax on a hot plate and left the room to go check her mail box in the office and while she was gone for that 5 minutes somehow the hot plate caught the place on fire. The entire art room was burnt to a crisp! Luckily the school was set up with multiple buildings so just that one building was damaged...for the rest of the school year and this was October. The surrounding classrooms were a total loss from the smoke/water damage.

I came in a few days later to help her sift through the mess to salvage any art supplies we could find (with the permission of the administration/ fire department). We mustered up some markers and a box of paper and for the next week I taught with her from a shopping cart in other teacher's classrooms while they were on prep. We smelt like a campfire with all the charred drawing paper. Thankfully my university deemed it necessary to place me in another school for student teaching...I dunno...I guess when the master teacher burns down the art room maybe they're not the best mentor to train up a young teacher. lol.

So while it makes for a great student teaching story I did learn a very valuable lesson...never leave hot, melting materials unattended and just say NO to making batiks! So when I rummaged through the cupboards of my new classroom this year I found a class set of these electric wax melters. I screamed and immediately threw them away! Never will I melt wax in my own classroom.

Welcome!

Hello fellow Artists, Art Educators, Family, Friends...and random passersby. I have been wanting to start a blog about my life as an art educator for a few years now and I'm finally getting around to it. I plan on posting student art projects, lesson plans, and telling funny stories from my classroom with the hopes of inspiring creative ideas for you fellow educators or simply to make you smile.